---nose bleed---

“There are tulips in the street,
there are tulips in the park.
But nothing compares to our two lips
meeting in the dark”

- pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday

========================

P500 - sun plan subscription
P1800 - glutathione 30 capsules
P600 - Olay Total Effects
P1500 - Crocs flip flops
P2000 - for mama

- Binudget ni Inday ang sweldo niya..

========================

Amo: Inday, paki-abot nga ‘yung ketchup…

Inday:
While it can hardly be considered a health food, ketchup has been found
to be a beneficial source of lycopene, an antioxidant which fights some
forms of cancer. This is particularly true of the organic brands of
ketchup. In fact, organic brands were found to contain three times as
much lycopene as non-organic brands. Ketchup, much like marinara sauce
and other cooked tomato foods, yields higher levels of lycopene per
serving because cooking makes lycopene in tomatoes more bio-available.

Amo: Gaga!

========================

Amo: Inday, bakit kulang ang sukli na ibinigay mo?

Inday:
Hmmm… The person from the selling entity might have experienced memory
deficiency due to the difficulty in concentrating and that lack of
concentration lead to forgetfulness in giving the excess monetary
equivalent due from the purchased item.

Amo: I think I’m gonna faint!

========================

Amo: Inday, nganu gipasagdan man nimo si Junior nga pirti man ning tsabaw?

Inday:
Sir, according to Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of growth and
development, toddlers normally exhibit temper tantrums to express
emotions such as anxiety. And the best intervention is to ignore the
situation. However, one should provide safety to avoid danger during
their tantrums.

Amo: pag churoi!

========================

Sa Resto:

Waiter : Ano po order nila maam?

Amo: Ung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw inday,ano sayo?

Inday:
I would like to partake of a dish of sautéed pork and chicken,boiled in
thick essence of soy and cane extracts,with copious amount of garlic,
onion and laurel,sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with
generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.

Amo: Iho, paorder daw ng adobo with rice

========================

It is in mistakes that we learn how to grow to be better individuals.
Ypu may judge me for what you see but it is not my mistakes that determines who i am but it is what i do to make it right.

- sabi ni inday nung nakabasag sya ng pinggan

========================

Amo:
Mula ngayon, wala nang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng
ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ‘to. klaro ba?

Inday:
Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok
ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin,
aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at
palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal
timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkolooban.

========================

1. rendezvous
2. tete-a-tete
3. renaissance
4. buoyancy
5. queue
6. squeamish
7. impenetrable
8. dachshund
9. brochure
10. brassiere

- Inday habang tinuturuan ang 8-yr old na alaga matuto sa spelling

========================

The
oil normalizing series specifically desgined for my oily skin not only
works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin
layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long lasting oil
free skin.

-paliwanag ni inday habagng nagpapahid ng chin-chan-su

—————————–

We
need to give due respect and the presumption of regularity to the
verdict laid down against the former President. but guilty or not guilt
he will still be loved by people like me, people belonging to the
masses.

-sagot ni inday sa interview ng CNN sa kanya sa kaso ni Erap.

————————–
Consul: Why do you wanna go to the US?
Amo: To travel to visit friends and fly the airplane.
Consul: Denied!

Consul: And you?
Inday:
For life is a never-ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction
that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to
the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become
reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the
pedestal of freedom.
Consul: Lifetime multiple entry VISA granted!

Amo: Whaaat!!!

========================

Jeepney Driver: Hoy bakit sais alng ang binayd mo?! Syete na pamasahe naguon!

Inday:
I am currently enrooled in a 2-year vocational course in an academic
institution. therefore, I am a student and, by this fact, I am entitled
to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my
jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you
expected because that is according to the law as stated in the fare
matrix.

Driver: (nosebleed)

========================

Overnight, inaral ng amo ni inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay inday

Amo: so inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chaimbermaid in this extravagant mansion??

Inday:una
camarera?eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es
porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera
traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque
esta casa es fea.

Amo: what??!!(dumudugo na ilong)

========================

Nang nakauwi si Inday matapos mamalengke, nagalit ang kanyang amo…

Amo:
Inday, hindi mo ba natanggap text ko? Tinext kita sabi ko bumili ka na
rin ng giniling. Selpon selpon ka pa di naman nakakareceive ng text.

Inday:
It’s not that I can’t receive any messages, it’s just that I was at a
place with a weak cellular signal. You see, even though longer
wavelengths have the advantage of being able to diffract to a greater
degree and are less reliant on line of sight to obtain a good signal,
it can still attenuate significantly. And because the frequencies which
cell phones use are too high to reflect off the ionosphere as shortwave
radio waves do, cell phone waves cannot travel via the ionospohere.

Amo: Pa-ayono-ayonospir ka pang nalalaman. magsaing ka na nga bago dumugo na naman ilong ko.

[naks mukhang ECE graduate din ata si Inday]

========================

Guess
what? Those not-so stunning guys keeps on staring at my newly manicured
nails while the copy-cat freaks envy my stylishly cut mane.
Unfortunately after a great day at the spa, I have to step on this
muddy and stinking place just to purchase some veggies!

- Si Inday, nakikipagchikahan sa tindera sa palengke.

========================

Nanay: Day, ba’t ba ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo?

Inday: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.

Nanay: Day, anong nakain mo? I’m perturbed by your words.

Inday: Nay, ala namang gantihan…

– noong bata si Inday

========================

“i
understand that sexual urge is most of the time uncontrollable since a
lot of factors contribute for it to be triggered..this is also the
reason why some men are found to be polygamous and engage themselves in
sexual acts even with someone who’s a total stranger to them..”

–sabi ni Inday sa sarili nya pagkatapos syang gapangin ni kuya…

========================

How dare u t0 insinuate such intolerable act of abusing our nature from a mere scrap of humanity such as
you. If you further insist, i’ll be forced to use my mental and physical capabilities just to pulverize u!

Litanya ni inday nung may nagtapon ng balat ng kendi sa tapat ng bhay ng amo nya..

========================

Boy
Abunda: Inday, isang tanong. Diretsahan tayo. Baket ba mukhang ang
lawak ng iyong pinag-aralan sa iba’t ibang larangan ng sining at
teknolohiya? Ano ang nagsilbing inspirasyon sayo para gawin ito?

Inday:
Boy, don’t you know how to count? Nevermind… to paraphrase Hayek,
exclusive concentration on a specialty has a peculiarly baneful effect:
it will not merely prevent us from being attractive company or good
citizens but may impair our competence in our proper field.

Boy:
Ahhh… [sabay kamot sa ulo]Kris: Boy, pinapahiya mo naman ang show eh.
Ganito dapat. Inday, what Boy meant was what made you decide to pursue
the knowledge of different academic uhh … ahh subjects?

Inday:
Kris my dear, it’s either you’re not satisfied with my previous answer
or simply did not understand it. I’ll just assume the latter. You see,
these are all simply my abiding interests and all these tributaries
flow into the same river. The thought of one’s research going into ever
decreasing, derivative and infertile circles, just depresses me. Getz?

Boy and Kris: [sabay nag-nosebleed at nagtawag ng commercial break]

========================

“If
the two eventually fell in love, despite the disparity of their ages
and academic levels, this only lends substance to the truism that the
heart has reasons for its own which reason does not know.”

Iyan naman ang sagot ni INDAY sa ina ni DODONG na tutol sa kanilang pagmamahalan.

========================

Amo: Inday, ba’t sinisipon si Junior?

Inday:
He came in direct contact from surfaces contaminated with rhinoviruses
which entered the cells of the lining of his nasopharynx which in turn
rapidly multiplied. Thus, giving him a viral infectious disease of the
upper respiratory system called acute viral nasopharyngitis.

Amo: [nosebleed sabay nataranta] what??! tumawag ka ng ambulansya! bilis!

Inday: Hayy, you’re so ignorant. As if you have not been afflicted with the common cold in the course of your existence.

========================

She
is now becoming one of the fastest rising Internet stars today amassing
a number of followers all over the world mostly Filipinos . Already
surpassing Ederlyn, Yuga, the Numa Numa boy, the Chinese Backstreet
Boys and even Casey and her cam.

Inday is getting a lot of
popularity today mostly from word of mouth, SMS and e-mails. Her witty
comments regarding her life as a domestic helper has already brought
laughter and uncontrollable nosebleeds to us.

RL: Inday, thank you for accepting this interview, how are you feeling right now?

Inday:
You might expect me to be flabbergasted or nervous with all the
attention I’m getting right now. Actually, I’m not. I know from that
very first text message that this is going to be inevitable. Even now
the media is already interested in my fame that they sent you to
interview me thinking that you can comprehend each and every word that
I say.

RL: [nagpunas ng ilong] Uhmm, ahh I see… so with all your
uhh academic credentials, what made you decide just to be a domestic
helper?

Inday: Well, what do you expect me to be? A lawyer? A
politician? A newscaster? Oh come on, you’re all so predictable. Have
you met a domestic helper that has a medical degree, is a world-class
culinary artist, has a degree in Business Management, a certified
public accountant and consistent Best in English for four years in high
school?

RL: Uhhm, ahh I guess not.

Inday: Well there you
go. That’s what sets me apart and makes me unique from all the rest and
I guess it’s something that you just can’t fathom.

RL: [tuluyan nang nag-nosebleed]

Inday:
I guess this is the end of this interview. I still have to prepare our
evening victuals and update my blog. Tatah! Hi nga pala to my love,
Dodong! I love you babes.

========================

Inday: Are you certain that you want to transfer me back to earth?

St. Peter: Oo! Langya ka! Mano-nose bleed lang yung mga kaluluwa dito! Dun ka na uli magkalat sa lupa!

========================

It
does not matter if you are the wife, or you’re the mistress. What
matters is you showed your love, you experienced the joys and pain in
loving. Coz from there, you’ll learn… that loving is not always easy.
- movie review ni Inday sa “A Love Story”! Bongga!

========================

Please
pray for the quick recovery of Inday. She’s currently in the ICU
because of excessive nose bleeding, which she had while accompanying
Junior in his school’s Linggo Ng Wika Celebration. Please pass this to
all whose lives, like mine, have been touched by Inday. Please pray for
the quick recovery of Inday.

========================

Amo 1: Inday ano gamit mo sa katawan? Ang kinis mo kasi eh.
Amo 2: Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya…
Ama 1: Baka naman kalamansi?
Inday: NO! …. ONLY BELO TOUCHES MY SKIN, WHO TOUCHES YOURS?
Amo 1 and 2:(tumbling)

Ohhh mahhh geeeee!!

ga nosebleed jud kew!